In BearShare...
WAYYYYYYYYYYYY Up There in the extreme upper left...
Click on
File
Next...
Click on
Explore Downloads 
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WARNING:
If you Click on
Explore Temp,
DO NOT alter or try to 'read' ANY of the TEMPorary files there unless you really know what you are doing and/or you want to delete partially completed downloads...
And, this is the HARD and DUMB way to do such deleting !
If you ever do want to delete a pending download, do it only in the DownLoads Page, OK ?