Have you done any searching around the forum? That is what you're supposed to do
before you post! See this & see both pages:
http://www.gnutellaforums.com/showth...threadid=30911
Make sure both you & our friend have free slots (ie: make sure you're not too busy uplding & dwnlding.)
On the mac version LW, your IP address is listed above the direct connect search box. But you need their ip to direct connect to them.
Also see this by Stief who is very wise on this topic:
http://www.gnutellaforums.com/showth...threadid=31006 (Another technique!)