What do you mean apple put something in iTunes to disable it? Works fine for me.

The most recent LW version is 4.12.6 so I'd suggest you update to this version.

Have you tried deleting your LW preferences folder whilst LW is closed? You can find it here /Users/your_username/Library/Preferences/LimeWire

If all else fails, try the beta of betas & get the "nightly" build of jum's here http://www.mager.org/LimeWire/
Which is a private unofficial beta of LW but jum does & has contributed code & ideas to the LW project.

BTW sounds to me like you don't have enough ram or are running out of HDD space or both.