adrocker, in the end you didn't even tell us what version of Java you're using now
Try this version instead. Use the JRE offline installer. Remove your current Java (Add/Remove programs, remove the whole thing) before you install this one.
Archive: Download Java 2 Platform Standard Edition (J2SE) 5.0 Update 11
If that doesn't help, delete LW's preferences folder
when LW's properly closed. See point 3 here & also point 2 if you've used older versions of LW in the past (there could be a folder in either location).
Fixes for LimeWire
This will kill all of your settings within options, you'll have to go back through afterwards & reset things. If you're not sure of your settings, go through LW's tools > options & write them all down, so that you can reset things later.
The folder in point 2's location isn't hidden. C:\Documents and Settings\your name\.limewire...if you have one of those, delete it.
To find the folder in point 3's location, make sure you're showing hidden files & folders (go to My Computer, up the top of the page click on Tools > folder options > view > make sure there's a dot in the circle next to 'show hidden files & folders' > apply > ok). Now the path is C:\Documents and Settings\your name\Application Data\LimeWire...if you see that folder called LimeWire, delete it.
If it still won't open, try changing compatibility (point 5 in the 'fixes' thread).
See how you go with all that