Me and some friends are planning on setting up our own private network. This is not a LAN. friends come from all over the world.

Criteria:

1. Must be able to share folders, not only files
2. IRC like chat.. or just IRC chat
3. Completely private. I mean no way at all to enter network before being approved.
4. Ability to swarm downloads (this is why DC isn't that good)
5. We don't want separate IRC
6. Would be great if it was possible to see amount shared on the network and maybe even amount shared per user.

note: Does not have to be decentralized

Does anyone how any idea of how I could dig up such a monstrous contraption

Feel free to reply with any ideas and discussions about this.