interesting. Try using magnet links. Let her give one to you. You use that to connect to her, then browse her files. That's as good if not better than direct connect.
http://www.gnutellaforums.com/limewi...owse-chat.html

Possible reasons for not being able to download from her: She has no upload slots left, or her upload bandwidth is taken up with other people uploading from her.
If she has restricted bandwidth such as dial up or other where the upload bandwidth is tied to the download bandwidth and effect each other, then that in itself may be a problem is most of her bandwidth is being used for downloading.

She may need to open up more upload slots, and/or possibly greater bandwidth for uploading.