LimeWire or Vuse? I use both myself. I've never used the private connection option for either program. With LW 4 I have many times used the Direct Connect option, but in LW 5 that's been replaced with the Friends option where you can connect using a mail system. Then once signed in can connect directly with friends who are also using LW 5. I'm not the best to ask about how to do this. But thought I'd welcome you to the forums anyway.