If you are unable to open WS at all to change such settings, then go to the WS preferences folder & find the wireshare.props file. Control-click or right-click the file or simply select it & go to the Finder menu bar -> File -> Open With ... and choose TextEdit. Then use Command F to use the search function. Type the word player into TextEdit's search box. You will find a line that says PLAYER_ENABLED=true
Change this to PLAYER_ENABLED=false.
Save the document.

Then try to open WireShare again (WS is an abbreviation for WireShare).

The WireShare preferences folder is found here:
OSX -> Users -> Your Account name -> Library -> Preferences -> WireShare -> wireshare.props

The LimeWire equivalent instructions are here LW preferences folder location but instead do not delete the folder.