Did you try to send a Ping with TTL = 1 and Hops = 0 to Bearshare before sending the query?
Also make sure you respond with a Pong to every Ping with TTL = 1 and Hops = 0 you get.
Also I saw a Pong Caching header in your connection. Are you sure you support it? Maybe you should test without it.
Gregor
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