This depends on the error status. Can you tell the exact message you get?

The only client I know reporting high waiting times is gtk-gnutella.

I have to say Phex has a problem with holding old IP addresses too long. When a host has not been seen for a long time the IP should be dropped. So you end up having a long list of candidates where most of them are too old to successful connect again.
I'm woking on improving this.

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