i just updated the limewire on both computers on my ethernet, and now i can't seem to find them while searching on one computer for the other...help

Check your firewalls. If for example you are using Norton, then Reconfiguring Norton Firewall. Redoing the firewall configuration to allow LW may help.

Did you try direct connecting? Did you try using magnet links to connect to each other? How to use Magnet Links & Direct Connect