John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!'

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'
She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'
John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'

'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'

She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'

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If it ain't broke, fix it till it is!

lmao

lol thats awesome

Since Michael Jackson was 99% plastic, he's going to be melted down into Lego blocks and let the kids play with him for a change.

Lol , That's good !

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If it ain't broke, fix it till it is!

haha good one!

Why does Michael Jackson like thirty-eight year olds?
Because there were thirty of them. :

thats just wrong lol :P

In line with US regulations, Michael Jackson can't be buried or cremated and must be re-cycled, they're turning him into shopping bags so he will still be white, plastic and dangerous to children.


Farrah Fawcett arrived at the Pearly Gates and God asked her what he could do for her having led such an honest life. Farrah asked God to simply make sure the children of the world were safe. Five minutes later, Michael Jackson died.

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I Don't Suffer From Insanity, I Enjoy Every Minute of it

Haha that's the best one so far Remoc