Get her to check her external ip. If it starts with 192 or 10 then you most likely won't be able to direct connect to her as those ip's represent being behind a network. Perhaps she could have a look at the tips here: Connection problems? Check here first! to configure properly. Wireless connections almost always have NAT firewalls. The question is whether hers supports UPnP & whether it's enabled & whether it works reliably. Also her software firewall on her computer might be an issue. That could help to explain the irregular connections between you.

If one of you are downlding from the other, then you should be able to browse each other. One from the downld window, the other from the upload pane of the LW Monitor window. Magnet link sounds like the way to go. Direct Connect tends to be difficult. You can't direct connect thru a non-configured firewall (ie: configured to allow LW full access.) There also needs to be open slots & bandwidth on both of your LW's.