Is Punk/Emo Music Bad for Teens like Me?
 

I'm unable to listen to some good songs... It's really sad. I used to enjoy the sounds of System of a Down, Slipknot, KoRn, Avenged Sevenfold, Green Day.... and lots of other great bands, which I haven't named....

My parents tell me that the music I listen to is poison. See, I left my CD player in my mom's car, and she decided she could listen to it, just to hear what I'm listening to. She was given a dose of KoRn....
No, she didn't like it, so, she told my dad. Now I cannot listen to anything, they don't trust me.

Is it really bad? Nah, says I. But, because I tend to be a curious person, and I have nothing better to do, I want to see what everyone else thinks about that kind of stuff. I know I'm not the only one that suffers from it.
I'm not always this dramatic, but, I'm wanting a little bit of a response this time.

Go ahead and post away, I'll be watching...

as far as I'm concerned your parents need to clean their glass belly buttons...such parents who try and control the music their children listen to are morons..and are probably just inciting their kids to 'worse' acts...sheesh..and yeah, I am a parent of a 21yr old daughter..the most I ever did was tell her to turn the crap down..lol

I see.... I never did blast my music... I'm 15, btw, and I don't have anything loud, just a CD player... lol

Nice to know a mother's opinion... didn't really expect that. =) Interesting, none-the-less...

that would be a father's opinion....

no insult taken, as I'm used to ppl thinking I'm a woman...go figure..must be my bitchy side..ahahahahahahah

Oh, lol.

At first I thought this little ground thingy would last a week, but they still don't let me listen to anything.
I actually dug thru the dumpster and got the CDs, but I gave them to my little buddy Bob... he's hanging onto them for me, so I don't get attacked by my watchful parents...

Since your parents doesn't like "your" music, they must have some tastes of their own.
Chances are, that their parents didn't like that either, just the way these things goes.

You say your'e 15. Part if the process of maturing, is getting more independent from your family. At least, theres not long untill nobody gets to tell you what music you can hear.
I agree with Peerless, noone should censor others musical tastes, be they parents or whoever.

Music has the power to do lots of things, but not to corrupt people.

All these open-minded opinions, real eye-openers. Thank you Antabus, I think that's true.

Though my parents tell me that one of my older sisters (actually, my oldest) had to go to therapy because she listened to rock type music at my age.
My oldest sister tells me that she went to therapy for... other reasons. I'm not gonna say, because it's kinda personal, you know?
So anyway, thank you guys for these opinions. I really wasn't sure if music was really corrupting .

Hi Zephyr,
Sometimes parents are just scared of their kids growing up!
My kids (both under 10) listen to all sorts of music ...punk, rap, hip-hop, mainstream. This hasn't made them any worse than they were to start with:D

You could say that anything was corrupting...TV, video games, music etc. We all enjoy different things & sometimes parents freak out when their kids are loving something that they just don't understand.

Don't panic. Parents are just really weird people!!

It does depend on you and your parents definition of corruption.
Often, it's more the style and image of the music, andnot the message, that irks people. I don't really listen to the bands you mention, but I'm sure they're not hellbent on bringing society down.
But again, people are very different, and some people think everything with rhythm is straight out of hell.

Yeah, I guess they can be pretty crazy, but they tell me they're just looking out for me. And I believe them, cuzz that's their job, otherwise, it would be considered neglet, eh? Hehe, Yeah

being fair, it is a parents 'job' to look out for their children...

to me the bands you mention are not great corrupters, but there are some that are IMHO...its not the style of music that matters, but the lyrics and what they promote...

I remember my father telling me that the stuff I played on guitar sounded like it was 'coming out of a meat grinder'...dillhole..he was also the type to only allow me to take classical guitar lessons (that didn't last long, and luckily my teacher was a blues guitarist..he was totally kewl and gave me enuf info on classical to fake out my father, and taught me some good blues stuff)..basically my father was, and is, and fascist control freak (we no longer talk, and probably never will again)

The_Point being that doing a parent's job often calls for walking the razor's edge...its a fine line between different tastes, and appropriate censorship...

I will totally stand behind my opinion that when it comes to general sounds/styles of music, a parent has NO right to censor, but when it comes to 'evil' lyrics, then perhaps they do...

Hi Zephyr

From a older persons point of view they have taken away a good opportunity to talk to you and give you guidance you can use through life. By taking your music away they are not addressing that part of the real world. It is like they are sticking there head in the ground and saying it doesn't exist.

I personally do not care for the lyrics of allot of todays music it seems to me all that they talk about is sex and violence. My booty this my hump that (basically I am a hoe) or (I am Pimp and watch it or I will pop a cap in your XXX) etc. But it does have a good sound and beet and generally makes a person feel good and that is what music is all about the feel.

I myself never prohibited my children from listening to anything although I did at times control the volume but when you are pumping out a thousand watts it can get a little out of control at times. Unless of course it was some of my Acid Rock:D their are some advantages to being the parent.

My parents used the same strategy with me I was allowed to listen to whatever I wanted I my time the music was about sex, drugs & rock and roll. But my parents used the music as a opportunity to talk to me on a level I could understand and while it may not have sunk in right away, (I will say I was a typical kid and had a bit of a wild side). The words they said to me during those discussions did stick and had allot to do with the way I turned out latter in life.

Now my 13 year old granddaughter brings her music over to listen to she is into rap and hip hop. And we have discussions about the music and what she wants out of life. As far as I am concerned your parents are making a big mistake they are removing a perfect opportunity to communicate with you at a age when communication is very important.

Other than breeding fish & sheep, I'm no parent. But IMHO, I'd think a compromising approach might help. Downld music they like! And some they wish they had but thought they could never get a hold of. Rare recordings can make a difference, particularly if it's at least with some reasonable listening quality. It doesn't take too much time to downld music specially for the cause.

Also an appreciation of one's parents's music (no matter how out of fad it is) is an art. Take the time to learn about it & this will help you to communicate with your parents. As suggested, this is not easy & needs commitment to learn what was "nice" about the music of "their" day. Understanding their music will help you to communicate your prefered music to them. IMHO But since I'm not a parent, I accept that my advice is that of a person who has only experienced what you have. Understanding other types of music will overall in the long-run help you to communicate with other thoughts & customs, etc. As music is a universal language, but learning how to understand it fully takes time & serious study. Learning more tastes & styles of music will get you far socially. Exceptions for this confused soul called lotr. Just my thoughts! :)

go get yourself a Twisted Sister tattoo, that'll fix em!

(I suggest listening to "twisted sister - I aint gunna take it anymore" for inspiration.)

Then get some real punk stuff like some "Sex Pistols" not that watered down stuff you've been listening to. ("I am an Anarchist" would be a good start).

Hey Zephyr, As a parent myself I dont stop my kids from listening to what they want, I enjoy the music of today myself, but sometimes if theres a bit to much swearing in the lyrics I may say to my 13 yr old delete that from your mp3 as he walks around the house singing away and not holding back...
I've heard slipknot and I'm not fussed on them their really heavy and hard to understand, so mabe your parents just hear the loud thrashing of that pacticular style of music and make their judgement from that. You should introduce them to something a little calmer to start with, and build a trust up with them, if they think they have reformed you, you could then go back to the music you enjoy...
May I also suggest get some headphones so they cant hear what your playing....
Good luck mate and they really do have your best interest at heart, even if it doesn't seem it......;)

It's worth remembering Zephyr, that this has happened before.. Paganini and Liszt in the 19th century, were considered disciples of the Devil by many. Riots were staged at Stravinsky's Rite of Spring in the early 1900s. Benny Goodman's attempt to bring Jazz to the musical "elite" proved very hard work. And Elvis Presley and Rock and Roll in general was outlawed by vast numbers of adults who feared its corrupting influence .... and the list goes on. All these types of music and artists are now well respected by almost everyone, and one day in the not too distant future, your music will be respected ...(or dismissed in the golden oldies pile) and you will not have suffered any ill effects because of it. You mentioned your sister earlier .. I gather she had problems, and she would have had them with or without the music. You seem totally sensible and level headed.. so go ..enjoy your music ... and maybe as WW suggested introduce your parents to some more melodic and quieter examples of what you like.. and take care with the headphones .. and keep the volume down, or when you have your own children you won't hear what they are playing atall :)

The only reason a lot of music nowadays is given a bad name is because when a teenager does something really stupid like vandalizing, opening fire in a school, etc. the music is the one that gets blamed. Music has no affect on a person's behavior. These kids were screwed up in the head long before they listened to that type of music...... well, maybe not those Colombine kids. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders so I think you should be able to listen to whatever you want!

Y'know, all of you have basically sent the same message... I think.
Yeah, I got a buddy named Bob who's a punk/Anarchaic type boy. He lends me advice about how my parents treat me. See, I've been trying to moderate that, because I know he can be a bad influence at times. My music is also my problem, say my parents.

They've vividly explained how my behaviour has been declining into some sort of drepression, and exiling them from my world. I doubt that, because if I did, I'd be gone from home by now.

Anyway, I do understand that they're looking out for me, and only want what's best, but I also think you guys are right. Thanks for all the advice.

Is there anyone here who's going through this now? I'm curious, I know I'm not the only one... lots of fish in the sea, you know....

I don't have any kids myself but I was one of the poor souls that had overprotective parents, that would "try" and prohibit me from doing stuff that they didn't find "good" for me, and it made me into a rebel instead of being good

I since then have done a bit of reading up on how teenagers get affected by parents using the "Don't do that ever" and "Do not listen/watch/play that" instead of sitting down and talking to their kids and guiding them

There are three groups of kids. Of course there are more but in the interest of this post I will limit it to three

1. won't be affected at all or very little. About 90% of all children

2. Will be "Mice". They will develop an unhealthy dependence on their parents and later in life on other people that might not nessesarily be good to them, but they won't be able to make decisions for them selves, because since childhood they have been prohibited from making them, thus never developing the skills to make good decisions and making them insecure.

3. (Unfortunantly the group that I fall into) "the rebel". they will, instead of following their parents orders, start to do the exact opposite. They will no grant their parents wishes a thought and it will often lead them into a downward spiral (antisocial, criminal and drug related bahavior), which in my case wen't on for about 10 years, before starting to get on track again. by some miracle I managed to never get jail time and now I have a much broader perspective on things, but that was lucky since jail makes that type of people get into even more trouble.

I am back in school now at the age of 27 instead of 17 and am again a A-student just like before it all started, but I'm one of the lucky ones. I am just 10 years behind instead of a whole life. The mice often lose their whole lives

I just wanted to point out the seriousness of parents making stupid rules instead of talking to their children. I want to also say that some kids have behavioral issues that talking won't do much help for, but those groups are all "normal" children

As for the type of music that you listen to. If you listen carefully to the lyrics you will find that a lot of it is very negative, and since you stated that your sister had psychological problems at a younger age, I can in a way understand your parents reaction to this issue. i think that they handled it the wrong way, but it would be a very good idea to get your parents to sit down with you and have a long talk. Be openminded when you do it. Make sure that you too listen to what they have to say, because if you sit down with the intension of "winning" you will find that you have gotten nowhere when you are done.

Talk to them about how the inplementation of rules affects you, and make sure that you give them the chance to explain them selves. Also explain to them that how music affects people depends on their state of mind before listening. it doesn't make you violent if you aren't of a violent nature allready. Also tell them why you prefer to listen to that kind of music.

Also if you are into the beats and not the lyrics. There is a lot of techno music out there. I know that it is very hard to find good techno music because there is just so much out there but if you look hard enough you will find something.

If you get your priviliges back, it would probably be a good idea to cut down a bit on the bands that you mentioned above, and using earphones when listening to them like someone allready told you in another post. Your parents will probably not be changed people just because you talk to them once. Also screen the lyrics before playing it when your parents are in range

Also try asking them for their oppinion on other things. Make sure to not alienate them. Don't give them the "I don't have time right now, later" answer when they try to talk to you.